Forgiving yourself can be the Hardest thing to do

After preaching for a couple of years on how good and loving God is, I failed to believe it myself terribly. In a moment, I was attacked by Satan and lost my faith. It was no small thing. After receiving countless visitations and communications from God I should never failed God. And God was so angry with me. God can get angry, because of His great love for us being wounded by our carelessness. It took three years of God telling me on and off that my sin was absolved, that I was forgiven. I couldn’t believe it in my heart. I kept punishing myself. I still worshiped Him and served Him. I knew I was saved, but just couldn’t believe that He had forgiven me over that sin.

One day in worship, it finally dawned on me that I was forgiven and I became so free within myself that I praised God with all my heart. I was filled with joy and a new hope filled my soul. I found God was so pleased with me for trusting His mercy at last, that it made me even happier still. So what Satan stolen from me I received it back again.

Hope is so precious, it gives us something to hang onto when we are going through our trials of testing. I did a very silly thing. The more God gives you in the way of visions and visitations the more He rightfully expects of you. I feel not only have I let God down but I let down the whole of heaven and you my readers for not being the example I should have been.

My beloved brothers and sisters always be on guard and realise God never leaves you. You may not see Him, but He is closer to you than you are to yourself.

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