Being Misunderstood

1 John 4:7

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

In heaven there is no misunderstanding of one another what soever. And absolutely no fear present in heaven, can you imagine such a place? How truly beautiful to be able to express yourself the way that is natural for you. Without any fear of being misunderstood and being truly appreciated at the same time. One women was told by Jesus the worst suffering is being misunderstood. At first I didn’t appreciate what He said to her. I went away and had a thought about it. Then I realised most of my sufferings was caused through misunderstanding.

People Don’t put Themselves in Another Shoes

Even when my father died, I was still living at home when he died. I was twenty two years old and this was my first closest death I had ever experienced. I would go to work and everybody expected me to get back to normal as if nothing happened to me. Some gave me a couple of months and thought that was being generous. It actually took me a couple of decades to get over his death. Life being what it is you have one crisis on your hands, only to receive a couple more on top of that one. So it takes even longer to get over things. And when you are young you don’t have any experiences to know how to handle things like that. Not all counsellors are helpful. Without my faith in Jesus I and my entire family’s faith, we would not have survived it, because our family was extremely close.

Words mean different things to different people. For example who would think the word love would mean so many different things to different people. I had one friend that didn’t like getting close to people, because she said every time she did, they either would die or leave. So the word love for her meant getting hurt and being left alone. We have very different experiences from each other and we have to take that in account with other people. Even the ones we think we know well. I was told by my younger sister of twelve years, that she always thought my name was Sue. She said she was sixteen before she realised that my real name was Susan. I said to her what did you think when people called me Susan? She just shrugged her shoulders and said she thought it was my nick name. How’s that for misunderstanding? We are sisters and living in the same house. And I might add we were very close.

A Good Relationship Book

There is a very interesting book I think it is called ‘5 love languages in relationships,’ by Gary Chapman and I think Rose Campbell. The thing he found by so called accident, (I don’t believe in accidents, especially on the subject on love) that people feel loved differently. For example some feel the need (mostly men) for their love ones to make affirmation of appreciation, (saying out loud that you appreciate them and why). Mostly for women they tend to like quality time. Meaning they love to talk to their love one’s just about on anything. They need to communicate, not things like ‘what is for tea?’ Some feel loved when somebody does a kind act (a sacrifice) a service of some sort, like helping with the housework or the lawns etc. Others like little notes or gifts from time to time saying that they are loved and appreciated. The last group needs to be hugged and touched for the sake of being hugged and touched and for no other reason.

He suggest that we find out what the other person needs to feel loved. And of course sometimes it is not natural for you. For example my friends when they want to show their appreciation of me, they will give me a hug and a kiss. That is not how I show my affections, but it is how they show theirs. So I go with it and try to do it with a generous heart. I am more intellectual, so I love to talk. The more I open up to you, the more I will talk freely on all subjects. That is a very good sign that I feel comfortable with you. Otherwise it is just polite talk and I am trying to think up what else to say next.

No MisunderstandingisI2TNE013

In heaven nobody judges you. I had a vision decades ago and never forgot it. I had a friend back then that got extremely angry with me every time I was in one of my quiet moods, which happens often. I couldn’t work out what was going on for a while. Then light dawn on me and I realised, either she or somebody in her family, when they go quiet it means they are angry with you and she naturally thought other people who go quiet, do it for the same reason. I was so frustrated that naturally our friendship didn’t last, because I couldn’t get through to her that I was not angry, I just needed to re-charge my batteries.

I had a vision that I was in heaven not long after. In my vision I felt the need to go somewhere far from people, so in this vision I apparently left heaven to find such a place. I found a cave and it was all dark. I stayed there for a while and when I was ready to go back to heaven, I did. The thing that was so important in this vision, everybody in heaven was so happy to see me again, and not one person questioned me ‘why I was away or what took me so long.’ I was totally accepted for what I was. Can you imagine such a place that you don’t ever have to explain yourself, because everybody understands naturally who you are and what your needs are.

I am not suggesting here that we just up and leave and not tell anybody, because we know full well that is being irresponsible, we need to tell people so they won’t worry about us. However the vision was really about accepting everybody as they are. If they seem odd to you, they do not seem odd to Jesus. Jesus knows where they are coming from. And it might be some very simple explanation that you haven’t thought about. Have you notice more a person suffers and remain true to Jesus the more humble and accepting they are of all people, even the ones that have severely hurt them. Suffering can be used by God to mould you into becoming another Christ like figure.

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